A Southie’s Life Rocks (or is it on the rocks)

I recently read an article about the lavish, partying and rocking life of mallus and tam brams (Of course I am being sarcastic).

The mail was hilarious. It spoke of the heritage names and remorseful work timings and really sad social life’s that “we” southies, live as routine.

I would like to disagree to it. Probably all the mail needed was a good laugh but when I received the same mail with a comment saying, “It’s so true”. I kept contemplating & pondering over the comment. (Ya, I know I could have just quoted there “I kept thinking instead of pondering” but I had this sudden urge to use big words as most readers of this post at this time would be southies sitting in offices as the Gujus, Panjus and other baniyas would be busy planning the evening for the day & also I needed to show off. Oh come on, Vocabulary is all I got). Anyways, read on…..

I think life’s a lot different than a mere southie’s routine mockery. Its, well…..  hmmmmm… how do I put this, …….it’s complicated.

Yes, even for those tam brams & mallus who have at least till date not ended up with love marriages (southies love marriages, wonderful usually. They are mostly with the same caste, community, the “gotram” needs to be different, carefully chosen, selected, discussed, horoscopes matched & agreeable to both parties, parents, relatives, neighbors whose opinions are equally important as a background check would also have happened of the couples, ahem)

Why even bother calling it a love marriage mate? I think this whole process has taken more time than actual courting. So where’s the romance. Naaah!

Can’t blame the poor chap though. How often does he anyway get to claim having gotten to get someone fall in love with him or at least remotely agree to him. After all, he must also have taken pains and been patient & careful enough to get across his job profile, designation, job security, mutual funds investment, idea of his probable salary, his investment plan, housing loan amount etc & such other details to the fairer sex and then woo her. Wow! How did I forget, qualifications here. Ya. That too. Phew! So that’s about a year till that time. & yes, he is a double MBA / Masters… Again, why?

Also, the south indian girl realizes that this dude, can I call this male human neatly oiled hair category, a dude, please, please… please let me Thanks …. Well so as ammai, appa & other family members would also agree and she is also sure to be with someone who can and has a stable job (remember, Home loans, mutual funds & PF – I am sure she also must have noted down the possible savings he must be making annually after tax deductions). & wow, how did I also forget, the guy has to be 5’8” at least. Why? Just make the criteria 6feet then. What is it, an oomph factor!

I just don’t get it, may be partly because I am not 5’8” but still. Why?

Why the criteria, at least “ “.

Is it like, if the calculatedly fallen in love couple get troubled by a dude, is this tall or taller guy gonna tap the tip of the other guys head before he succumbs down or faints (people who eat only curd rice, dosa & rasam chadham(rice) get bruised more easily, you see)

Anyway, it does not make any sense.

So the planned, arranged but loving couple say, the hell with love at first sight. We have taken into consideration all the factors that may or may not suit both of us. Now we will make this work, the girl says it with confidence. Yes, they are going to revolt and rebel, against … hmmm…. Against cruelty to animals. Lets not get offtrack, what else will they revolt to, how can they upset ammai & appa and family & friends and did I mention neighbours.

Little does she know that the tam bram / mallu dude might have even comp up with a probable percentage of risk involved in this relationship (he might just tell the statistics if pressurized, but I am sure he would have also made a pie chart of this analysis probably in SPSS software).

Anyways, with the money that both make, they can afford many such revolting romantic SRK movies on DVD at their 2/3 BHK homes that is of course only after both of them have finished reading their book / novel for the day (reading is very important for our cult, that shows we are educated and belong to a different class & category of people). Educated & class, I dun’t know, but different category…. Oh, I am so sure about that.

Ya, we southies need to have stacks of books at home from Crosswords & Strand book stall, nothing pirated. It has to be purchased for the original price. Hell, we even have hardback cover books. We don’t read it all, but those books are usually kept closest to the ‘Big glass’ door of the library at home for the world to see. What world, which girl is going to come to a southie dudes home first of all and even if she does, and the sweet dude shows off his massively huge and BIG, collection of books, trust me my friend, she is never coming back. So make sure & mark my words carefully, do not lend your books to her, she is never, ever coming back. Lets continue.

We have overgrown TV sets, but we make sure we put on our social networking sites status, “Don’t watch TV”, What? Why? Is it like a crime? I love watching TV & I grew up fine. Ahem! Let’s not get into the details here. Lets read on…

So now do you realize why these mails tickle our funny bones. ‘coz only the Truth shall finally set you FREE!

Also, did I forget to mention, unless we learn to accept ourselves how can we…. How can we…. How can we face god in the morning during sandhyavandanam…. J   Have fun

Yes, yes. My name runs over 50 letters…….. so I am not writing it. Vaise bhi, mera naam to suna hoga!

Do tell me your views…..