Life, Teenage and beyond: “When I was 21….. It was a very good year”: Missing 21

 

 Another ‘good’ year,  or is it?

A stressful month, painful week, draining last few days…. has finally brought me to a not so energetic weekend.

Duh!

It’s 6am IST on a Saturday and I am awake writing a blog…. So take a wild guess!

But yes, I had few other realizations of f late about people and life. They don’t change, they won’t change…. Either we learn to adapt or we learn to let go.

I usually have been habituated to working with a big team professionally and have an extremely choosy few friends. And it’s true what they say. Our friends teach us more than anyone else of things that could be played and done right to socialize. I have been lucky and in awe of few such friends of mine to whom I might not have mentioned this to, but have helped me a lot to gain control of myself and my social life over these years.

Today I understood when Sinatra started by singing when I was 21 as I missed being 21 a lot, when it was a very good year … remember!

 Those who probably knew me two years back, if they wind up discussing with someone who knows me not from yesteryears, would sense they are discussing of different individuals. I changed… for some reason, i changed. Became more calm, more patient and more socially acceptable and human.

So today, I fall flat and confused when I am questioned for being too calm and non-aggressive and on the other when I know how hard I have worked for it.

So what am I to do? Where am I to go from here….

I come from a middle class orthodox family, valuing teachings of the great more than life. I do not obviously abide by those at the same level but I respect the learning’s in every form of practicality in life today.

The quotes and learning from the holy books of Gita, Ramayana, Bible and great leaders and my personal influencers like Mother Teresa, Swami Vivekananda have shared their wisdom across the globe. When I read through them, I feel so shallow in my life of doings.

I have always found peace when I was able to lend a helping hand to someone really needy, be it education, physical help or bringing smile through words of humor. I have lost all that today in the rat race of life.

Recently I received a letter where I have been nominated for Rashtriya Gaurav award (I thank them for my nomination) for my contribution to various NGO’s over the years, but strangely I did not fill up my nomination, because there is so much more to do…… so much of void to be filled, my work has not even begun.

I am not trying to preach like the great influencers, trust me I do not have that audacity anymore. I am merely like a candle in front of the mighty sun, running confused and with chaos on what is to be done more, better and positive…..

The great words from Gods and legends have taught me to just keep pursuing my work and not bother.  But today the days and weeks seemed to be either hooked up on monotonous ideas which itself cracks the point of having ideas or no learning and loads of zero value addition routine tasks or chasing god forsaken numbers or planning them and with nothing coming in return from any of these that could be worth valuing; “TIME” seems to ask me, are these days even going to be worth remembering?

The answer I get is a simple no!

So today I ask my friends who have either massively or in any other way, impacted a positive way of life in me, how do they do it? …

To name a few: Anand P (A humble guy & a master & wizard on traditional High quality education), Amit R (Very helping & his PR skills are better than SRK’s), Ajay K (The most modest, sincere & humble being) who have been my very close friends since decades and of course there are many others who have added and impacted at some level or the other as excellent friends: Beta, Chinki, Kishore, Prakash, Bala, Hari bhai, Sagar, Chintan, Akshay, Prasad, Deva, Mani, Chini, Ankur, Venky and there are those whom I can’t mention owing to uncanny reasons…..

or do they too miss being 21….. Come on fellas, give me your comments…

 

Quotes from Holy books and some of my personal great influencers:

 “There is neither this world nor the world beyond nor happiness for the one who doubts.” 

” Karmani ave adhikars te: –you have the power to act only; ma phalesu kadachana:–you do not have the power to influence the result; ma karmaphal hetur bhoo: –therefore you must act without the anticipation of the result; ma sangostu akramani: –without succumbing to inaction; ” 

“Anything that brings spiritual, mental, or physical weakness, touch it not with the toes of your feet ”

“I will deal with them according to their conduct, and by their own standards I will judge them” 

“I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness”

 

Image Source: AnanthV